Coast Guard Finally Shoots Something
NORTH BEND, OR — Many are confused by what the U.S. Coast Guard really is. Are they a security force, military branch, or something else? These questions are even more of an issue since the Coast Guard has never really shown their firepower -- until now.
Earlier this week, a Coast Guard cutter opened fire on a derelict Japanese vessel floating at sea since last year; proving once and for all that they have real guns.
“Would you look at that?” Calmly exclaimed coastal resident Herman Holman. “I thought they were like, an ROTC or something.”
Mr. Holman is of course mistaken. After Thursday’s surprising discharge of actual munitions, the Coast Guard showed the world in no uncertain terms that they do more than just take old, discarded Navy stuff and paint it white.
A USCG C-130 was on station to photograph the uncustomary loading and firing of live rounds, thoroughly documenting the event. The commander of the Cutter, Captain Brian Kipch commented, “You guys shoulda been there, it was like A…
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